What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
09.06.2025 07:42
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
TEXT:
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
What do you think, TikTok is nothing but another porn site? Do you agree or not? Why?
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
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Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Make Nazis afraid again!
What does it mean to you to live a life that reflects biblical values?
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Why would my nipples hurt when I touch them?
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
What is the most unwatchable movie you have sat through?
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
Why does he text me first but when I never text first he gets mad?
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Can shaving hair by Veet in our vagina cause diseases?
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
Do you want to have an XXX chat?
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
What should a young woman do to control sagging breasts?
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority